Outstanding?......

Ok so this post is a bit different... it is something I often think about and so I thought it might help to get my thoughts down on 'paper'.

It concerns they who shalt not be named, (but whose name begins with O!) and lesson observations. My guilty secret: I have never been 'Ofstedded' personally - I have missed 3 by being on maternity leave or it happening on days I don't work, I have been present during one but wasn't observed. So quite frankly, I am disproportionately terrified of them!

I have obviously been observed by various people in school, and I have received 'outstanding' grades, but, BUT, I have only ever been seen with classes I feel I am my best with. Does that make sense? I don't know how to express it any other way. But you know the classes which are full of nutters, where it takes all year just to create a relationship in which learning can take place, where there are so many 'challenging' ones that to create a useful seating arrangement would mean an additional 15 classrooms, where despite your promises before every lesson not to let them get to you, one of them still manages it???? Am I ever outstanding with these children? I have no idea. I might be, occasionally. I certainly am not with one particular group when I see them p4, right before lunch, their worst time.

Clearly for my own professional development I should ask to have these ones observed shouldn't I?! I think I am being chicken... I think deep down I genuinely do care enough about the kind of teacher I want to be, to be able to handle the outcome. And I really would like to know how to teach them 'better'. But it is bloomin' scary on the surface!

Hmm...dilemma! I have a meeting with the head about Performance Management target setting this week (with him as I am applying belatedly for threshold - yet another thing maternity leave has got in the way of!). A little bit of me wants to set a target of going from whatever I am now to outstanding with my really tough group. Or am I just asking for trouble?!!! Should I go with my other option of forging ahead with new technologies in MFL? (We don't do much in the way of this at my school yet).

I know which is easier, and more appealing, but which will make me a better teacher? And do I have time/energy for this kind of commitment  at this time (lots else going on, not the least my two gorgeous small people at home!). As I said, dilemma. Any thoughts anyone?!